I'm a Beta Mom!

Those of you who don't read a lot of "mommy blogs" might not know about the ungodly number of hours women spend debating hot-button parenting issues. You name it: everything from breastfeeding to co-sleeping to infertility can set off vast amounts of angry comments and hate emails across the internet.

A few women, however, recognized a desperate need for online parenting resources. One whipped up a website for a group of popular mommy bloggers and called it "Alpha Mom." Bloggers, unite! Form of, ice cube in my cocktail!

It turns out that Alpha Moms command a lot of attention from their loyal readers, and where Alphas go to shop for products, other parents will follow. Naturally, the corporate world jumped on the bandwagon immediately. Google "Alpha Mom" and you'll find tons of praise for these women from every corner of the boardroom. They're even getting their own TV channel soon.

But what is an Alpha Mom, exactly? There's a great article in USA Today this week describing this new marketing segment. To quote:

Alphas are educated, can-do types whose organizational skills bring a corporate mentality to their parenting and a technological agility to their problem-solving. These high achievers will often surf the Web and blogs for advice. They've also gotten plenty of media attention.

Okay, I've got the surfing part down pat, although I'm not one to follow a lot of advice. I'm stubborn like that. But organizational skills - does that mean I'm actually getting something in my house cleaned while I'm taking care of Helen? Yeah, that's not me.

The USA Today article went on to describe the recent anti-Alpha Mom movement, a sort of backlash against all these images of perfection in motherhood. These "rebels" take a much more relaxed approach to parenting.

Those moms have it together sometimes. They may forget to send back permission slips or lose track of their turn for team snacks. They don't necessarily have the catchy name, though some call themselves Beta Moms or even Slacker Moms as they urge their peers to chill.

I'm so glad there's finally a name for me. You Alpha Moms can have it all - I'll just sit right here while my child reads "Green Eggs & Ham" to me, and not think about running the dishwasher or setting out her clean clothes for tomorrow or paying a few bills online. In fact, I might even take a nap.