From the Mouths of Babes

Last night Brian had a chat with Helen.

Brian: Helen, what are you going to be when you grow up? Are you going to be a doctor?

Helen: No.

Brian: Are you going to be a dentist?

Helen: No.

Brian: Are you going to be a teacher?

Helen: No.

(You get the idea. Astronaut, scientist and librarian all get the same response from Helen.)

Brian: (grasping at straws) Are you going to be a telephone operator?

Helen: (vigorously nods head yes)

Brian: Are you going to own the phone company?

Helen: No.

Brian: Are you going to a good college?

Helen: No.

Brian: Are you going to get good grades?

Helen: (nods, a little uncertainly)

Brian: Are you going to get straight A’s?

Helen: No.

Brian: Are you going to live at home forever?

Helen: (vigorously nods head yes)

(Brian went ahead and increased his 401k contribution this morning.)



This evening, I was changing Helen's diaper when Brian snuck into the room to surprise Helen.

Brian: Helen!

Helen: Da-da!!

Brian: Who loves you special?

Helen: Da-da!!

Brian: And who's the smartest in the whole wide world?

Helen: Ma-ma!!

Jennie: (laughing hysterically)

Brian: (through gritted teeth) And who's going to pay all of your college tuition?

Helen: Da-da!!

Jennie: (doubled over, still laughing)

Brian: (leaves room)


Check out the new 'do

You know that Neil Diamond song, "Forever in Blue Jeans"?

Without ado, I give you: Forever in Pigtails.


Next up: Movie Rights

This year my sister gave me a wonderful Christmas present: she published my first book.

On the sly, she used a self-publishing site called Lulu.com, and organized all of my blog posts through the end of the year into a handy hardcover edition, complete with pictures.

I'm already looking forward to giving copies of this book to any dates that Helen manages to slip past her father, with certain entries tabbed and highlighted. "And here, young man, is the story of Helen's first poo. I hope you enjoy it."

On Christmas morning, Mandy showed me the website on her laptop, on a page that looks very similar to any book listed on Amazon. And I cried, and cried, and cried. I'm an author! For real!

I absolutely ADORE the title, Listening Twice, which refers to this entry.

The first copy has already been purchased. That should zoom me right to the top of the Bestseller List (in our neighborhood), don't you think?

You can visit the page, purchase the book online, preview the first few pages, or even review it. I'm giving my readers a link to it here. Very reasonably priced, although it can't compete with the free archives on the blog.

It's a milestone that someone else achieved for me, and now that it's done, I can try it on my own one day. That's such an exciting feeling, and I can't thank my sister enough for that gift.

By the way, we don't get anything from the sale of this book, except the satisfaction of knowing that Helen can throw it away, and I can order another one.