Overheard

Brian calls me at work after giving Helen an afternoon snack.

Brian: Oreos are not maintenance-free.

Me: Oh, really?

Brian: They're EVERYWHERE.

Helen: (in the background) ma-ma! ma-ma! ma-ma!

Brian: (to Helen) For the last time, I'm not ma-ma! Stop calling me ma-ma!

Helen: ma-ma!

Brian: Hagar! Hey, Hagar! How do you like that, HAGAR!!

...

Officially? I'm a mother of TWO kids.