I've had a problem with my contact lens that just won't go away. For those who wear them, it's a giant protein blob that no amount of cleansing and soaking will get rid of. Normally, it's not a problem - just throw away the contact and replace it with a fresh one - but this is my last contact for this eye.
I can't go get more contacts because my prescription ran out during the pregnancy, and getting a new prescription now guarantees that I won't see straight after the baby's born. In fact, my eye doctor won't even let me set an appointment. Blame hormones, blame blood sugar, blame fate, but something funny goes on with the vision of a pregnant woman. Mine has gotten progressively worse over the past 3 months, and I still have to wait about 2-3 months after the birth for things to go back to normal.
By the way, I HATE my glasses.
So, I'm in the grocery store searching for the nuclear options in contact lens solutions, and Helen asked me what we were looking for. Absently, I replied, "something for my contacts." Right after I said that, I realized Helen has no idea what contacts are. I sleep in mine (yes, I know darn well that would explain the protein blob), so she hasn't seen me take them out & clean them before. So I told her I had something in my eyes to help me see better, and they were a little dirty so I was looking for something to clean them.
Miracle of all miracles, she didn't ask any more questions after that.
Cut to the next day when I picked up Helen from daycare, and I told her we are headed to the grocery store to get some food for dinner. Helen asked, "Mommy, is it your tongue kiss?" Umm .... WHAT?
I couldn't figure out for the life of me what she was talking about. It took about another half-mile of her chattering and asking about shopping for "tongue kiss" before it clicked. She was trying to say "contacts" but it was coming out "toncass." Which sounded like "tongue kiss." Which I think we can all agree is a pretty disturbing thing for a 3-year old to say. I've worked with her on correct pronunciation, but she still says "toncass."
The doctor told us at her 3-year old checkup that she talks so clearly, and was very impressed with her vocabulary. Thank GOD the word "contacts" wasn't part of the testing.