My Freakk

So, I've been telling you guys about the My Twinn doll that Helen got for her birthday, and I've gone to their website to try and capture some of the images that disturbed me the most about their catalog.

Turns out there are a wealth of outfits and accessories that you can buy for your doll. Here was Helen's favorite outfit from the catalog:

Should I be worried that my daughter will grow up to be Elizabeth Taylor?

Or you can go for ethnic costumes, authentically designed by a random person in a cube farm:

Does your doll play a musical instrument? If so, perhaps you need to visit a therapist because YOUR DOLL CANNOT PLAY THE GUITAR.

Here's something every doll needs - a horse! Bridle & saddle sold separately, because hey! This horse isn't going anywhere.

In case your doll just barely missed the cut in Nagano, she'll be prepared for winter:

And furniture! Oh, the furniture. Tiny hangers sold separately, because every kid throws her clothes on the floor anyway. Why should your doll be any different?

I realize that Barbie has all of these things and more. Perhaps what is on some level really bothering me about My Twinn is the large size (startling in comparison to Helen) and the idea that the girl can match the doll. I don't remember getting a chance to look like Barbie, even if I wanted to. There are plenty of outfits for My Twinn (Helen already has one that she clearly loves), including matching Halloween costumes:

Matching sleeping bags:

Matching work clothes (yes, you can buy a wheelchair and casts for your doll - in case your mother should inflict some damage when the doll won't stop asking for a horse):

And for an extra added bonus, they even sell matching Christmas outfits, including one FOR THE MOTHER.

You're allowed to laugh. You are NOT allowed to order this dress in my size and expect me to wear it and take pictures and post them on the blog. Because that, my friend, is a sign of the impending apocalypse, when I start dressing like MY CHILD'S DOLL.


Sara said...

OK, so I don't know if I ever told you this, but when we were kids, Kim and I had My Friend Mandy and My Friend Jennie dolls. I always thought it was an oh-so-weird coincidence that Mandy had blond hair and Jennie had black hair.

But, we also had LOTS of clothing to choose from. Expecting rain? No problem, you’ve got a Rainy Day Slicker. Want to go for a jog (even though your knees don’t bend?)? We’ve got an outfit for that. Mandy & Jennie liked ballet, roller derby, tennis, and, apparently, the occasional patio party. They were very well rounded….

Anyway, I immediately thought of that when I saw your “My Twinn” post. It is just like life repeating itself. Sort of.

Sara said...

Oh, and if your mom couldn't find the right outfit, she could MAKE one for you with sewing patterns for everything from pajamas to a poncho!

And I was wrong, Jennie was a brunette. (She spelled it Jenny, but we never did)

Jennie said...

Oh yeah! Mandy had one of the My Friend Mandy dolls - I remember making her rollerskate around the kitchen.

Thank you so much for all the links!

ElastiGirl said...

OMG!! LOL at
"Matching work clothes (yes, you can buy a wheelchair and casts for your doll - in case your mother should inflict some damage when the doll won't stop asking for a horse):" - Tears are rolling!!
Wonder what happens if you do surgery on one?! The nurse in me wonders...

ElastiGirl said...

BTW - I'll bet Sara looked GREAT in that matching gaucho outfit that I am SURE Susan whipped up from the pattern on a rainy day!!

Samantha said...

The thought of you in a matching dress with Helen and her doll has me in hysterics!!

the bartells said...

Okay, do they have sponsors for these outfits or what? Can you just picture Minnetonka moccasins sponsoring the politically correct named Native American outfit?
And the thought of all three of you dressed alike well... that is something you consider embracing. Can you imagine the cute photos nad how happy that would make Helen? Did they have adult size Halloween costumes too or just Holiday wear? :D tee hee! You know I am soooo kidding. I can only imagine the expression you would have on your face and the years of those pictures floating around. I think it would surpass Aunt M's raised eyebrow picture...