Do they give you a medal for going to work on your due date? It feels like this is the modern equivalent of women who used to give birth in the fields - only now we're sitting behind desks in air-conditioned offices. Okay, so not exactly the same thing. But anyway.
Yes, I am STILL here, as apparently everyone I see has to emphasize. If every person who asked me, "You're STILL here?" or "You haven't had that baby YET?" had to give me a dollar, I could have paid for Helen's college tuition by now. From the daycare to the bus to work and back home to the grocery store, I hear it a LOT.
Like I have anything to do with the process of making this happen. It's all up to the baby. But you wouldn't know it from the advice I keep getting. The old wives' tales are pouring out of the woodwork at this point.
"Try salsa." Oooh, the heartburn - it burns! No, thanks.
"Try sex." That gem came from a neighbor. Ha. Try, indeed! Yes, at this point I'm too sexy for this website.
"Try walking." This is by far the most popular advice. I'll just go ahead and mention that it is by no means comfortable to walk any distance at 40 weeks pregnant. Also, it was approximately 105 degrees with the heat index last week. YOU try walking around the block with an extra 30 pounds wrapped around your waist and report back to me. Be sure to indicate at what point in the first 100 feet you had to call 911.
Believe it or not, all 3 are urban legends. Apparently if you tried one of the three, or all three, or something other than these three, and then you went into labor, it was just a coincidence. The leading scientific theory is that the baby's adrenal gland releases a hormone that says, "I'm ready" and the contractions begin. So you can bet my lazy butt is on the sofa. And I will continue to enjoy the air-conditioned comfort while I wait out the last remaining hours of pregnancy.