The only piece of information you need to know in advance is that Helen is being particularly difficult this month by not doing one thing that her mother tells her to do, even if what I'm telling her to do might SAVE HER LIFE.
Oh, and since I can hear the cackling 200 miles away, one more thing: Shut up, Mother.
So. On with the show.
I am at the grocery store with Alice, talking on the cellphone to Brian. Alice stayed home with me that day with an ear infection.
Brian: Is Helen with you?
Jennie: No, I'm heading to the daycare to pick her up after I check out.
Brian: Do they have an overnight option?
Jennie: At daycare? I wish.
Brian: Is it just me, or do you just want to tell her to SHUT UP ALREADY?
Jennie: I'll be honest with you. Sometimes the best part of my day is in the morning, when I'm driving away from the daycare.
Jennie & Brian: (together) Suckers!!!
(Then I spent a moment in the deli laughing hysterically into the phone. I'm pretty sure I need to avoid the grocery store for a week or so.)
I phone my mother to tell her about Alice's ear infection.
Mom: I'm sorry to hear she's not feeling well.
Jennie: Me, too.
Mom: How's Helen?
Jennie: You mean, She Who Burns Bridges?
Mom: (laughing) That's her Indian name?
Jennie: Yeah. I don't know where I get this stuff. I think it's all the sleep deprivation.