For her next trick, she'll floss her teeth.

Like any good mother, I cut up Helen's food and give it to her in tiny, kid-sized bites. All the experts say parents should do that so they don't choke on their food.


Really, and I'm telling you the God's honest truth here, all it does is encourage Helen to see how many of those little pieces she can fit in her mouth at one time. Turns out IT'S FAR TOO MANY, HELEN.


One night I made corn on the cob, and out of curiousity I handed her a half-cob to see what she'd do with it. It took some explaining, but she finally believed it was corn. She must have thought it always grew in tupperware containers.


After I showed her how to take a bite, she proceeded to eat 2 whole ears all by herself.